Lorraine’s Journey in Parent and Child Fostering UK

“You’ve Got to Have a Passion for Change”: Lorraine’s Journey in Parent and Child Fostering UK

Fostering in the UK comes in many forms - but few are as uniquely transformative as Parent and Child fostering. It’s an intensive but deeply rewarding type of fostering that brings together vulnerable parents and their babies into the home of a foster carer, offering guidance, safety, and the chance to break cycles of trauma.

Single foster carer Lorraine, based near Brighton, has spent over a decade in this specialised role. Her story shows just how impactful parent and child fostering can be - not only for the families it supports, but also for the carers themselves.

Finding the Right Fit

Lorraine originally considered mainstream fostering, hoping it might even offer a ‘sibling-like’ companion for her young son. But when she learned more about the different types of fostering, she realised Parent and Child (P&C) was a better fit for her and her family. It offered a clear boundary between her role as a mum to her own son and the care she would provide to the parents and babies placed with her.

As a former childminder with years of experience around young children, Lorraine already had the instincts and patience the role required. “I’ve always had a good relationship with children,” she says. “Fostering allowed me to be at home to support my son and do something that genuinely motivated me.”

Babies and Children

Lorraine laughs when describing herself as a baby whisperer, but it’s clear she has a natural connection with children of all ages. “I can’t explain it. I was always that kid picking up babies at family events — getting bitten, hair pulled, sicked over — but I didn’t care! I’ve always just clicked with little ones. I’m animated, I talk their language — whether they’re toddlers or tiny babies. Sometimes I even prefer their company to adults!”

Despite the deep connections she forms, Lorraine maintains healthy emotional boundaries. “I do get attached,” she admits, “but I know they’re not mine. I just borrow them for the time they’re here. We have fun, and I help the mums.”

I do get attached, but I know they’re not mine. I just borrow them for the time they’re here. We have fun, and I help the mums.

A Safe Place to Learn

Parent and child fostering isn’t just about providing a roof over someone’s head. It’s about offering a stable and supportive environment where a parent - often young, isolated or facing adversity - can learn how to care for their baby safely.

“When they first come, I focus on the positives,” Lorraine explains. “Make them feel at home, help them relax. They’re being assessed 24/7. It’s like living in a goldfish bowl. That’s a really hard way to try to be a good mum. So I try to create calm and confidence.”

The Role of a Foster Carer

Placements usually begin with a 12-week assessment period, but many extend to 28 weeks or longer, depending on the court process. Foster carers are not only hosting: they’re observing, reporting, supporting, and advocating.

“You’re not just helping one person,” Lorraine notes. “You’re helping the mum, the baby, and often the whole family dynamic. I’ve had mum, dad and baby, even mum, dad and twins. That one was wonderful. She came back to visit me with her family; happy, settled, doing brilliantly.”

Lorraine is also vocal about the importance of foster carer training. She especially values attachment theory. “It should be taught in schools. Understanding attachment can change lives. Dan Hughes’ Building the Bonds of Attachment is a brilliant place to start.”

Not Always Easy – But Always Worthwhile

P&C fostering can be challenging. Many parents arrive having faced trauma, abuse, or loss. Some are dealing with mental health conditions or the impact of being in care themselves.

“A lot of mums don’t know what they’re doing,” Lorraine explains. “They haven’t had good parenting role models. They’re frightened, overwhelmed; they may think leaving a baby to cry is normal for instance, because that’s what they were told by their own role models.”

Lorraine works to gently re-educate and support. She balances compassion with firm boundaries - and she’s not afraid to advocate when needed. “I’ve written letters to Local Authorities. I’ve fought for mums who I knew were doing their best. It’s not always straightforward, but sometimes it changes everything.”

I’ve written letters to Local Authorities. I’ve fought for mums who I knew were doing their best. It’s not always straightforward, but sometimes it changes everything.

The Lifestyle of a Parent and Child Foster Carer

This type of fostering is, as Lorraine puts it, “a lifestyle, not a job.” It’s 24/7. It’s intense. And it requires deep personal commitment.

“You have to have a real passion for change. You have to change yourself, and help change someone else. We are given a very good allowance, which reflects the intense commitment of what we do. But you can’t do it for the money. It’s not an office job. It’s your home, your life.”

Between placements, Lorraine would always take a month off to reset. “When my son was younger, we went to Canada, Sweden - lovely holidays. Now though, I just take a couple of weeks off. I get bored! I always come back ready for the next one.”

The Joy of Success

For all the challenges, it’s the success stories that keep Lorraine going. “I had a mum who’d lost four children before. She came to me, pregnant again. She stayed with me for six months, and even though she didn’t keep that baby, something changed. She didn’t get pregnant again straight away. She got a job. She made friends. Years later, she came back - with twins. She kept those babies and had a good partner. In the time we were together, she’d learnt how to break that negative cycle.”

Lorraine’s eyes light up. “That’s why I do this. That’s what keeps me going.”

Interested in Becoming a Foster Carer?

Parent and Child fostering isn’t for everyone — but for those with patience, empathy, and a desire to truly make a difference, it’s life-changing.

“It’s not glamorous,” Lorraine says. “But it’s powerful. You’re helping someone at their most vulnerable. And when it works — it’s beautiful.”

“It’s not glamorous,” Lorraine says. “But it’s powerful. You’re helping someone at their most vulnerable. And when it works — it’s beautiful.”

If you think you might have the passion, resilience and warmth to support a parent and their child, contact us now. There’s a real need for more foster carers in the UK, especially in specialist areas like Parent and Child placements.