“It’s Just Life”: Jane’s 14-Year Journey as a Foster Carer

“It’s Just Life”: Jane’s 14-Year Journey as a Foster Carer

When Jane Shearer and her husband Dean began fostering 14 years ago, they had no idea just how much their lives - and the lives of many young people - would change. Today, they remain passionate advocates for fostering in Sussex and beyond.

From hard decisions to hope

“We reached the point where our fertility journey was going to end,” Jane explains. “It clearly wasn’t meant to happen for us. We had to think - what does family mean for us moving forward?”

A late-night TV show about fostering sparked a conversation that would change everything. Soon after, Jane and Dean decided to start their journey to becoming foster carers.

The start of a fostering journey

“First we had a home visit, then we began training and the application process. We’ve had a lot happen in our lives - family history and so on. But then in fostering when you're faced with these situations, dilemmas, and predicaments, you're a little bit more prepared than somebody who hasn't had those life experiences. The assessment gives you the opportunity to reflect on all that you’ve experienced and recognise the strengths you’ve gained from it.

Within days of being approved, they welcomed their first child for respite care. From that moment, their home has rarely been empty.

Long-term connections with children in care

“One young girl stayed with us for three and a half years,” Jane says. “We also had a sibling pair who returned to live with their birth father after 18 months - and we’re still in touch nine years later. We even went to his wedding recently.”

The couple also fostered a young man for six years and remain part of his life today. “He has a three-year-old son now, and we get regular updates and video calls. He even carries on little family traditions we introduced, like matching pyjamas at Christmas. It can seem silly to other people, but passing on those traditions from one family to the next feels really special for him - and for us.”

Their current foster son has been with them for more than nine years.

“He’d really had difficulty finding a foster home before coming to us” Jane remembers. “At first it was difficult, with sleepless nights and calls from his school. But now he’s a wonderful teenager who comes home and helps where needed, chats to his friends on the PC, plays rugby 3 times a week, goes to army cadets, and has great friends. All he needed was the chance to be that person.”

All he needed was the chance to be that person.

Breaking down myths about fostering

Jane knows many people are hesitant about fostering because of misconceptions.

“People are fearful because the media only shows the bad stories. But most of the time it’s just life. You do the school run, cook dinner, and help with homework. In that normality, children begin to heal.”

She is also keen to stress that foster carers don’t need to be perfect.

“I’ve met people who worry they live in a council house or that they’ve had a difficult past. That doesn’t disqualify you. In fact, the more life experience you have, the better prepared you are to support young people who’ve lived through trauma.”

Most of the time it’s just life. You do the school run, cook dinner, and help with homework. In that normality, children begin to heal.

Community and support for foster carers

Fostering isn’t something anyone should do alone. Jane credits Blue Sky Fostering with helping her build the right networks and support.

“Nobody understands fostering like another foster carer. The sense of community is priceless - we share ideas, laugh about the challenges, and remind each other we’re not alone.”

She also highlights the value of respite fostering, where children spend time with other trusted foster carers.

“Respite means we can go to a wedding or have a romantic weekend away, knowing our young person is safe and cared for. Everyone benefits from that.”

A message to anyone thinking about becoming a foster carer

Jane is clear that fostering isn’t always easy, but the rewards are immeasurable.

“If you’re curious, just give it a chance. Pick up the phone, send that email. It’s not all roses round the door, but the difference you make can last a lifetime. The changes might seem small, but for that young person, they are huge.”

If you’re curious, just give it a chance. The difference you make can last a lifetime.