Fostering Siblings: Richard and Sean’s Journey

Fostering Siblings: Richard and Sean’s Journey

When Richard and his partner Sean decided to open their home to foster children, they had no idea just how transformative the experience would be. In the space of a year, they’ve welcomed two sets of siblings, each leaving a lasting imprint on their family and their hearts.

Starting Their Fostering Journey

Sean is a hairdresser, whilst Richard’s background as a support worker was the initial incentive to lead the couple into fostering. Although he was very passionate about his role working with children and young adults aged 13 to 21 in supported living, he gradually began to wonder if there was more he could do to make a direct difference in children’s lives.

After a friend who works for the local council suggested fostering – and explained that Blue Sky Fostering was the first agency they would call if they couldn’t place a child – Richard and Sean decided to take the leap. “For us, it’s still fairly recent,” Richard explains. “We’ve literally just had our one-year review. But in the space of twelve months, our life has changed so much, and ourselves with it – and it’s definitely been for the better!”

The couple passed panel on the 20th of September and, just a month later, welcomed their first set of siblings. The five-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, brought with them an explosion of energy. “They were wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Very busy. Very five-year-old: literally into everything!”

Although the twins settled well, the placement was short-lived. “Unfortunately, we live too far from mum and dad, so they moved to a foster family closer to them,” Richard said. He added, “It was hard saying goodbye, but if you don’t get attached, you can’t give them the care and love they need. Part of our foster training is understanding how to cope with that.”

“It was hard saying goodbye, but if you don’t get attached, you can’t give them the care and love they need. Part of our foster training is understanding how to cope with that.”

Welcoming Ryan and George

Not long after, and just before Christmas, Richard and Sean welcomed another sibling pair – six-year-old George and 12-year-old Ryan. “It wasn’t just Christmas we had to think about,” Richard laughed. “It was also that their birthdays were in the same month! As we still hadn’t met them, we were unsure what to get for presents. Sean got over-excited and bought them a ton of gifts. It felt like they were opening them for days!”

Ryan, the eldest, has Down syndrome and required a specialist school. “It took a while to find the right school for Ryan, which meant that initially he was at home with me for nearly seven months until the right place was found for him to settle into. Ryan is very talkative; he literally followed me around all day chatting! It could be exhausting, but I was exhausted with love because he’s so enthusiastic and affectionate.”

It could be exhausting, but I was exhausted with love because he’s so enthusiastic and affectionate.”

The Strength of Sibling Bonds

When asked why they chose to foster siblings, Richard’s answer was simple: “I have two children from my past relationship, aged 16 and 21, and we all live in the countryside, with nothing around us but trees and sheep. We felt it might be a little bit boring for a child on their own. We felt siblings could bounce off each other as well as be there as support for one another, and that’s exactly how it’s been. They bicker like all siblings, but they love each other. Wherever one is, the other’s there.”

This bond has been a source of comfort not only for the children but also for Richard and Sean. “They are outdoor kids: they want to be outside, playing football, launching air rockets, or playing ball games. We’re quite lucky because we’ve got all the space where we live and we have a dog as well, so we’re always out walking down the country lanes. It’s funny, but before I would think, ‘oh, it’s a rainy day, so we can’t go outside’ – but for the children it’s all fun, as it means they can splash in the puddles!”

Facing the Reality of Fostering

As much joy as fostering siblings brings, Richard acknowledges the emotional challenges. “I think I have to keep reminding myself we are not adopting; we are fostering. These aren’t our children. We do this to give them a safe place to live. If their parents are safe enough to look after them, then yes – we’ll be gutted, but the goal is always to go back to mum and dad.”

“I think I have to keep reminding myself we are not adopting; we are fostering. These aren’t our children. We do this to give them a safe place to live. If their parents are safe enough to look after them, then yes – we’ll be gutted, but the goal is always to go back to mum and dad.”

A New Family Dynamic

For Richard and Sean, fostering has changed everything. “It feels like we do have our own family now, and it brings us so much joy,” Richard said. “It’s made our home complete.” Sean, who Richard describes as “the fun, loud, outgoing one,” has embraced fostering wholeheartedly. “The kids love him. When they fall over, they come to me for the cuddle, but for fun, it’s always Sean.”

What Fostering Has Taught Them

Fostering has transformed the whole family. When Ryan arrived, his speech was quite limited: “If you couldn’t understand him, he’d just go quiet and not bother talking. Now he’ll repeat himself and stay calm until you get it. The result is that his speech has come on in leaps and bounds.”

George has also blossomed, moving from a shy boy who would mutter requests through his brother to a confident 6-year-old, all smiles and affection. “Now it’s, ‘Richard, can I have this?’ or at dinner time, ‘Can I leave the table?’” Richard says. His attitude towards schoolwork has also shifted. “At first, he didn’t want to do homework at all. Now he’s like, ‘Shall we do homework?’ His confidence has really grown.”

Richard grows emotional when reflecting on their fostering journey. “You hear all the adverts on the television, but you don’t realise how many children need help until you do it. It’s made us think less about ourselves and more about others.”

His message to anyone considering fostering siblings is clear: “It’s an adventure. It’s hard work, but the love you get back is unbelievable. Seeing the bond between the children and knowing you’ve given them a safe place – that’s worth everything.”